Your Wishful Thinking Will Disappoint (And That’s Okay)

Sometimes I think of alternative universes. How my life would turn out differently. What kind of person I would become. And who I would be surrounded with. I think of the possible scenarios and all the what ifs. You know… the wishful thinking.

I wonder if the word abundance is such a myth. Because we can never be satiated. We want many things in this world. I guess we have to blame it to hedonic adaptation. Because we are always wanting more. We like some things to be different. And we often think it’s greener somewhere else.

But is it probable that what you have is already destined? Is it possible that where you are is where you ought to be? I know, sometimes, our wishful thinking doesn’t match our realities. And this can be disappointing. It frustrates me, too, when I hyper fixate towards a scenario that, I’m positive, will never ever happen. It saddens my heart that there is a certain chapter that I can never get into. So I take a moment to pause and convince myself that maybe this is okay.

Maybe there is a token somewhere that won’t become ours simply because it’s not made for us. Maybe what we have is already special. What’s in the palm of our hands is already a prized possession. Our current situation is in its best state. And the grass we’re looking at from a far… isn’t exactly greener.

Life will occasionally disappoint us. And this is okay. Perhaps we’re meant to be let down. It’s a humbling feeling to realize that we won’t have everything that we want in this world. It’s sobering to know that there are wishful versions of ourselves that we’ll never become. Yes, this is heartbreaking, but it’s also pragmatic.

In the face of an anticlimax, I’m learning to be grateful. I’m forcing myself to come into the terms of my present. I’ve dreamt of what I have now. I am where I need to be. And if there is a future that will never be mine, I am okay with it too. I’m trusting in the way my stars are aligning.

Sometimes I perform metacognition on my wishful thinking. And if I go deeper and deeper into it, I am awakened by the harsh truth that the alternate universe may not be as satisfying as my reality. That my wanting can result in a demise. And that is a scarier prospect than being at peace with where my feet are. I am learning to be comfortable with disappointment. Because even though it shatters my heart once in a while, I can count on it that it only wants the best for me.