Wanting Something That’s Not Good For You

The allure of the desire is intoxicating. We like what we can’t have. We obsess over something that is equally hard to find and/or difficult to attain. We want the exclusive. We fight each other over the rare and one of the kind.

But why is it that we spiral when the object of our fascination is so out of reach? Why do we allow our monkey brains to keep thinking about them over and over again? Is it because we secretly thrive on chaos? Is it because the drama makes us feel alive? When we’re confronted by the idea that something is not right for us, why do we deny it?

An Hermes bag, for example, is a dream piece for a lot of people. In reality, it has no other function aside from carrying your belongings. Sure it signals wealth. It tells the world that you are somebody. But at the end of the day, it is just another bag. Why do people want it so bad when, deep down, they know it’s an overpriced item?

I can never understand the psychology of wanting what we can’t have. I, for one, am not immune to this. As soon as I prime my brain that something is off-limits, it will try its best to rebel. Maybe because there is something sexy about the danger. Hence why some people do skydiving. Or gamble their last money. Or overeat. We crave for what is not good for us because the thrill is what keeps us going.

Unfortunately, to be healthy is to rid of the toxicity. So how do we solve the problem? How do we stop the bleeding? How do we slowly and gently kill the forbidden desire?

It is to exhume the ugly and the dirty. It is to highlight the imperfections. It is to open our eyes to the reality that, sometimes, something is not that pretty up close.

In order for us to understand why something is not good for us, we have to look and find all the reasons why it’s not going to work. Reality is the antidote to fantasy. Ultimately, the only person who can burst our bubble is us. When we’re anxious towards something or someone, it’s our own body telling us that something is wrong. Our mixed emotions are the sirens that tell us to turn away and run.

When something or someone is not meant for us, we don’t feel calm. We don’t feel stable. When something or someone is not good for us, it’s like a roller coaster ride. We enjoy the thrill of the adrenaline rush but we also feel the fear that it might all go wrong. It’s this confusing combination of emotions that deliver us to the wrong path.

We have to flash the lights to the object of our desire because maybe there is a monster lurking in there. We have to inspect. We have to investigate. This way we can claim back our sanity. And hopefully, when we’re illuminated by the ugly truth of wanting what’s not good for us, the golden glass will shatter. The angels will start singing. The clouds will part. And all that will be left is the clarity that we’re better off with what is not destined to be ours in the first place.